gecko dictionary/salamander treasure

there comes a time in many people's lives where they decide it's time to try to make an omelet. my day was today. there must be something noble in attempting a task you know WITHOUT QUESTION you will fail at. at least a couple pennies in the karma jar, please. i really wanted it to be a entire egg yolk omelet, but i knew that each absent yolk meant a directly-relational increase in level of difficulty of omelet construction and success [read: degree of failure]. settled with a half-yolk. [does the word "yoke" remind you of the oregon trail computer game from grade school?] mix egg, check. melt butter in pan, check. pour in egg, check. cook, check. prepare fixin's [smoked gouda and veggie sausage], check. flip over, decent check. apply fixin's, check. flip in half, check minus. half the fixin's stay in the omelet, and with each flip over like the game hot potato [as the omelet was already overcooked], all morsels of cheese and meats subsequently jump ship. the gouda never melted, so perhaps it is too squirrely an ingredient for beginner omelet constructers, and the egg was so decidedly NOT light and fluffy that i had to cut it with a knife. it did, however, look like an omelet [if you ignore the insides surrounding it on the outside], red hot played like a food band-aid, making the mess taste all the same and creating a false sense of success.