we'll call it broken; who will know?

so it's my birthday, and in absolutely-me fashion, i shed a few tears this morning. i can't exactly put my finger on why, but part of it has to do with truly having a highly inflamed sense of event. nothing occurs or passes without really feeling it. maybe it's the fact that i threw up in the bathroom of the bronx after downing one and a quarter whiskey and diets last night. maybe it's the persistent headache. maybe it's because i can't decide whether i'd trade this year for the last. maybe because everything feels so unsettled. but, but - the holidays, and certainly having my birthday surrounding them so closely, they feel some sort of spiritual thanksgiving. i'm thankful for my amazing family and priceless friends, we who all hold each other so close, sometimes too close, too tightly. but i wouldn't wish for it any other way. i went from not passing any classes last fall to finally graduating college in may. that's something to be thankful for, or rather, to be proud of. i moved into a really great living situation with four of the most stellar and most human humans i know in a great town, in a great area.

from the files of the xmas tree project:



kevin's "pi" tree




scott's "tree of democracy"


my mother's, which i'll call a "womb" tree


my sister's "cookie" tree with glue and cinamon ornaments and REAL popcorn garland