acting in abundance

weather.com describes today as: Abundant sunshine. Warm. High around 80F. Winds light and variable. that's quite a bit of promise. i must tool around on my bike today. wish oakland county had parks within fifteen miles of ferndale.

yesterday was hangover day. ate at slow's, saw the twilight singers at st. andrew's thursday night [great, of course], hit up the bar, drank too much [of course]. threw up out the car door while being chauffeured to and from wyandotte, mi. big nothing in stomach; all bile. somehow gained the stomach strength a few hours later to eat at my favorite chinese place [really, the only one i like] near where i grew up. spent the rest of the day/night/morning on the couch. tried watching 24 hours on craigslist twice and failed.

the greatest thing about being hungover is the day after the hangover where you're kneeling down, kissing the feet of feeling-normal-again. it never feels so good to feel normal, whether that normal is fantastic or mediocre.

warm = no slippers

this morning's the first where the house is finally warm. the feeling's somewhere between a suffocating blanket and the comfort of comfort food, but most certainly it is of that transporting ilk. that kind that scoops you up and hurries you, whizzing from this time to a time in the past, a time sometime, the time this time reminds you of. usually i characterize this feeling as the years being stacked upon each other like pancakes, and times such as now cut straight down through the stack. the warmth this morning hurls me back to exactly one year ago when i moved in this house. not a very far fall; the top pancake to the one just below it. but there are times where holes bore through layers and layers, quick but soggy: xmas, back-to-school-time in late august/early september, hallooween, &tc. say you're starting college, and when you're whisked through that hole back to starting kindergarten, for example, you're almost less of yourself at the present time. you're not exactly the direct summation of all first days of school either, you're a bit of all of them at once as far as actively being them goes. not the summation or the result. more like the living/breathing, scared/excited kindergarten you existing somewhere inside your chest. i'm craving syrup now.

it's getting warmer, and it's all about newness. cold asian summer salads and cooking more. homemade potato chips. check out my new favorite food blogs:

→ the "m" button
[punk dude living with his girlfriend in brooklyn writes up some of his favorites, veg and non-veg, but what really makes this blog are his vignettes from his life past and present. of the tofu scramble he notes, "Since this is an old recipe, you need to get into the proper lifestyle. May I suggest renting a huge 2-bedroom in a southern city and developing a taste for homegrown marijuana, prescription drugs, Bud longnecks, bad 'relationships,' and not sleeping?"].

→ 28 cooks
[vegetarian blog, gorgeous food photos and many asian-y-leaning recipes. do check out the microtato chips. i think her roasted cauliflower is next up for me.]

lastly, new jam song:

the medics
this song is like an updated [mostly?] young! shoegaze-y band laying off the drugs and trying to hit the big-time [but who knows if they're laying off the drugs] with guitar solos, easy-easy vocals [and sound like they're british]. the big sound of swervedriver, just way now, way younger, almost more pointed, with guitar solos. does music want a band like this? maybe? maybe not? this is the exact sound i love.

------------------------->bloody up your dress

and more songs of course on their myspace

an attempt at ¶s

so i guess i've really been blowing it lately. when life gets better and busier, internet writings decrease drastically. really, i hate the connection between the two, but it's always plagued me. so i'm trying to accept it. t is in germany for the next three weeks so i have some time to regain my grip on life-things like writing at least a tad more prolifically [word? i don't care. "with increased prolificacy" {which i have written before} is snotty, ugh], cleaning out closets, repotting plants, sending overdue mail, starting and finishing knitting/crocheting projects long overdue.

i've recently fallen into obsession with the simple knitted WARSHRAG project from the new book mason-dixon knitting. really, it's a great project that knits up easily and quickly, and it uses cotton yarn, which is my new favorite ever since the granny square potholder projects went underway some months ago. if i hadn't dropped my digital camera in the tibetan restaurant in new york in january i'd have pictures. grr!
→ EDIT: here it is. how could i forget the fancy camera phone? next time it'll be a VIDEO of knitting!

[colors a little off, the yellow is YELLOW, not electric yellow; the black {?} is maroon]
speaking of which, i'll be back there in a couple weeks to visit my sister at the culinary institute up in hyde park, ny. we'll also be spending a day+ in the city, attending the big apple bbq, staying in a gay hotel in chelsea [though i wish we were staying at either bed and coffee or the gershwin hotel but that's the breaks!], meeting up with my partner-in-crime ms. jeanne, visiting bakeries, gobbling cupcakes, &tc.

others:
→ many are fretting about the drastic increase in drug-related deaths over the last several days. read HERE

→ have you noticed how green it is outside since we had all that rain? you guys ready for temperatures in the 80s this week? i know i am, as the house is still too cold, and i don't prefer mild temps for bike riding. the colors outside right now are impeccable. perfect blues and greens. perfect color of cement. ugh. goodhues. that's the new word.

→ man, MIDLAKE's trials of van occupanther is STILL not out yet. but not too long! a little more than a month left! really, it's the total jam, believe me. if you're not convinced, here's some songs [for the googillionth time!] AGAIN!!!:
------------->→→→ head home
------------->→→→ roscoe
------------->→→→ van occupanther

→ lastly, is it true that good shows are coming up? josé gonzález and juana molina @ magic stick. constantines @ stick and in lansing! margot and the nuclear so and so's in ohio at the end of this week [not going?]. i even broke down and bought a ticket to the pitchfork fest. it's all happening!

→ way-last-but-not-LEAST-at-ALL, there's a new blog on the block [or does "there's a new blog in town" sound better?], it came from culture city penned by self-professed "detroit legend" steven paljusevic. if you reside in detroit and not totally under a rock, you've invariably encountered steve at a show.

canvas as noun/verb

and blue water turns to..

it makes me nervous to not know people well enough, and i'd prefer to not be even a tinge bit jaded or scarred. while i wish to be years in the future, i only hope that we can grow young.

the dust of retreat

it's been raining for days over what seems like the entire country, and it feels as though it will persist for hours, for days, ad nauseam. getting in bed last night, t noted that the sheets felt damp. they really did. what humidity. good for the skin, bad for hang-drying clothes, bad for dry sheets. it's far too cold in the house during the day, and with the sun's recent absence, failing to pour in the westerly-facing windows in evening retreat, the house remains far too cold in the nights. no blanket or combination of blankets is satisfying anymore. and the grind of the pepper is far too coarse.

big-time rain and thunderstorms predicted for the duration of our entire nyc trip. how unwelcome. raincoats, umbrellas, indoor activities, we'll be with you.

all our vices fight for themselves

saturday afternoon, oscillating between being cold and not being cold, working and not working, doing things not on the list to do, thinking about what needs to be done, doing nothing, wasting time. going to the bar tonight for the first time in what feels like eons, planning the ny trip. went to twelve oaks last night to visit my kryptonite that is forever 21. pretty killer. killing. is it going to rain next week? is there anything else to worry about?

your words are giants next to mine

it's about tiny bruises on arms, tripled laundry loads, cracking the window every night, silly faces, ridiculous laughs, noting overly-repeated phrases, hand not on the gearshift often enough, recounting "the creation story" insatiably, your movies, my movies, passing way-extended not-sleeping time in bed, life impediments, life deterrants. it's about you're inimitable, you fill the hole i never knew was there, don't leave.

going to nyc next week to see the german band t loves, and it'll be his first time in the city. left in charge of the itinerary [i'm a PLANNER, right?!], all i want to see are parks. and coney island. brooklyn botanic garden is a for-sure. the only for-sure other than the show. and trying to avoid manhattan. not totally ideal for someone's first time in nyc i guess. shopping? just my favorite, toys in babeland. too bad grilled cheese closed. at least we have parks. parks and picnics. and the museum of sex? it's on the BLOCK of our hotel. did the folk art museum [hugely LACKING darger] last time in the city. no way it'll be a disappointment.

the milk must come from somewhere

below is one of my very favorite craigslist missed connections of all-time. i know it does seem like a bit of a read [for a blog!], but TRUST me, it's worth it! it employs my absolute favorite metaphor if you give a mouse a cookie in a pretty insane way. just make sure you get to the end because that's really the best part.

here!:

Recently, I've repeatedly missed my connection with a specific furry beaver friend which over the past year I've regularly had the pleasure of connecting with. Yet the beaver still taunts and teases me... And it means to!

Translation:

No more casual sex with my ex girl friend-friend? Please, No! Reconsider oh great one, oh worthy unsatisfied vagina! Oh otherworldly beaver! Oh beautiful sweating body screaming raw emotion loud enough to wake up God on Sunday! It was such a great arrangement! Remember how we're both bi-sexual, and we decided we both wanted to experiment outside of the relationship, and up until recently we both wanted to have casual sex every now and again? Remember how we had sex all the time, how the sheets needed to be changed so frequently? How when guests came over we had to strategically place the pillows on the futon! Remember the screams, the moans, the roomates funny looks as we went into the kitchen afterwards to steal their food and not do the dishes yet again? Have you forgotten?

You called me your ex boy friend-friend and I called you my ex girl friend-friend. What happened? Why has the casual sex eroded into a casually akward conversation? Why do you let me-- rather invite me-- in your bed and expect me to want to keep my pants on? Newsflash: Invite a young man who you have had sex with hundreds of times to "sleep" with you in your bed and the pants eventually want to come off. Expecting otherwise should be considered a form of torture. Or better yet is: Will you give me a massage? Newsflash ..2: Ask a young man who you've had sex with hundreds of times to rub you all over, and he's going to want to rub you there too. Why call me up late at night and invite me to "sleep over" and then when I get there insist on inviting my best friend to come watch movies with us? I came over to have sex with you! That's what it means when you call up your ex late at night and invite him to stay in your room for the night! I can watch movies with my best friend almost any time. Perhaps the only time I can't watch movies with my best friend is when I'm having sex with my ex! So you see, that plan really doesn't work.

It's like that story "If you give a mouse a cookie." Do you know what the moral of that story is? He wants a glass of milk. Well, goddamn it! I want a glass of milk. And If I can't get a goddamn glass of milk after you stuff hundreds and hundreds of little cookies down my throat I'm going to choke! I don't want any more cookies! If you give me more cookies I will begin to wretch and convulse!

Anyways, I thought the idea was that we would forget the cookies entirely and just trade milk! If I wanted so many cookies, we would still be together. We would cuddle, and talk through our problems and sleep next to eachother, and give eachother massages. That was part of the love making process that takes many hours (or even days) before you feel the need for the cleansing, orgasmic oneness of great sex. The sex is the milk. It's silky and smooth, it's good for the health, and it puts you to sleep when it's hot. The cookie is the sweet stuff combined with the chunky, hard stuff. The sweet stuff being the cuddling and the massages and the sleeping next to eachother, and the chunky stuff being the talking about our problems, arguing, sharing our dark secrets and the likes. And you see, when you are given enough cookie it starts to build up in your mouth. You simply must have milk or you cannot accept any more cookie!

And to conclude this missed connection rant, I'll leave you with a poem:

You give cookies
I have no cookies for you
I want milk
You still feed me more cookies

I offer to give you milk and
You are suddenly a vegan

Yet your cookies are made with milk
And the milk must come from somewhere

Where does your new milk come from
And why won't you tell me

oh what to put in my mouth now

it's been nearly two days, and eventually it will be forever. if i had quit a year ago, i would have saved 1500$. i know i've been acting like quite the little terror, and for that i apologize. it's worth it, right?

a billion funerals

today is the day i quit smoking.

cipro is calling my name...it's getting louder

100% cranberry juice tastes like poison
it should be fed to me with a spoonful of sugar
and i believe it will put a hole in the stomach worse than whiskey

kickin' it holistic-styyyyle

cranberry juice [100% not from concentrate]
cranberry tea
cranberry capsules

perhaps tonight i will turn into a cranberry
probably better than whining waaaaaaaaaaaah like a little baby

waaaaaaaaaaaahhh

she left her men and attended to me

slept from 9.30-2 and awoke to bourbon talks and a urinary tract infection. ugh. to me, there are few ailments worse. so today i will attempt to cure myself with mental nudging/urging/commanding as the primary, if not only, means.

it's going to be gorgeous here in detroit today. it's spring, ya know?